


she’s gravity (but you’ve never been good at falling)

by alittlelesspain



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 13:08:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11829387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlelesspain/pseuds/alittlelesspain
Summary: After Alex confesses her feelings to Maggie at the bar, and Maggie turns her down, they decide to keep things platonic. When Maggie unexpectedly bumps into Alex in the middle of an NCPD mission, however, they finally get a chance to talk things out, and act on feelings that both of them have been holding back on.A slightly canon-divergent PWP, that unexpectedly caught feelings and a plot along the way.





	she’s gravity (but you’ve never been good at falling)

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the ratings warning. Things get pretty NSFW in here.

The tip-off had come from M’gann, who had passed on information about some of Roulette’s...investors...the same guys who funded her alien “fight club” shindigs, and got dividends from her human-trafficking business in return. Something about a deal going on, at the hot new downtown club by the docks. A big weapons-smuggling deal, to be shaken on over lap dances and shots of overpriced liquor.

And when Maggie heard that a full half of Roulette’s innermost circle were supposed to attend, well, how could she resist orchestrating a neat little roundup? What better way was there to rattle Veronica Sinclair, and let her know that the NCPD was still hot on her heels, even if she had slipped their clutches the first time around?

And so here is Maggie, swallowing the down the last of the glass of soda water she had ordered, and thumbing the holster of her gun again, hidden underneath her half-tucked shirt. The gesture, usually comforting, does little to still the scenarios playing in her head, of just how many different way this mission could go wrong.

It’s not as if she and her squad captain hadn’t planned this to the last detail, right down to which of Roulette’s goons were supposed to be in the club tonight, and what charges could be laid at the feet of each one. But the waiting game makes Maggie antsy; it always has, despite years of learning to control it.

She leans back in her seat just a little, still hidden against the shadows, and checks the VIP lounge one more time. The occupants’ eyes are glued to the show going on in the stage below, which Maggie can only describe as a special variety of pole-dancing that gives her sympathetic back pains just watching it.

She had been supposed to go home almost an hour ago, after scouting out the VIP lounge to confirm that all the planned-for marks were there. They had agreed beforehand that Maggie couldn’t be part of the actual operation; it was possible that one of the targets might recognize her, if they had been at the fight that she had already crashed.

Instead of leaving, though, Maggie had found herself slipping into the thick of the dancing crowd, making her way to the other end of the floor, and stationing herself by the dimly lit bar, keeping tabs on the targets from the shadows.

After all, the weapons deal bust is just a ruse to bring these men in, so that NCPD can slap them with the real charges, that of funding Roulette’s illegal activities. Maggie has dossiers full of dirt on each of these bastards, waiting on her desk back at the station. Dirt that can used be for a trial, or - even better - to flip them, to get them to divulge something about Roulette that could finally make the NCPD’s charges against the woman stick.

That is, all this is possible, _if_ the mission tonight goes well.

As Maggie is playing the plan out in her head for the hundredth time, her earpiece crackles to life.

“Sawyer, come in.” Barks her captain, who should be waiting outside right now, huddled in an unmarked van in the alleyway behind the club, with four other plainclothes NCPD officers.

_Busted._

“Captain.” Maggie answers. She considers making excuses, but the very fact that she had answered into the earpiece is proof that she hadn’t left, so she doesn’t bother. “How’d you know?”

“Because I know _you_ , Sawyer.” The captain’s voice is blunt over the phone. “No way were you going to go home and put your feet up while the squad conducted this bust. At least tell me you’ve got your gun on you.”

“Yes, and I’m near the bar.” Maggie says. She peaks another look up at the VIP section, where Roulette’s henchmen are seated, their gazes still trained on the show below, while trying to think up a reason for why she is here. “They can’t see me. I just - I wanted to make sure of our setup one last time.”

“Spare me, Sawyer.” The captain sounds half-amused. “Just make sure you’re out of there before the first show is over. That’s when the team is going to start gearing up.”

“Roger th-.” Maggie starts to say, in a light-hearted way that belies her anxiety over this mission.

Before she can get the words out fully, there is a hand pulling her back into the dark hallway beyond the bar. Maggie strikes out by instinct, but skilled hands block the move and spin her around, holding her fast against the hall of the hallway.

“Maggie!” Alex’s sounds a little confused as she stares down at Maggie. “It’s just me.”

“Sawyer?” The captain asks into Maggie’s headset at the same time. “Sawyer, report. What was that?”

“Present.” Maggie says, breathing hard and stepping forward, as Alex retreats to give her space. “Just ran into a friend, captain.”

Alex seems to grimace faintly at that, and look away.

“What does that mean?” The captain sounds annoyed. “Did one of Roulette’s henchmen recognize you?”

“No.” Maggie says grimly into the phone, even as she stares up at Alex, who looks a little confused. “Just a secret government agent wandering in where she doesn’t belong.”

Alex’s looks at Maggie in an offended way that would be almost humorous, in a situation where the stakes aren’t as high.

As it is, Maggie only finds herself getting more keyed up. Alex is skilled, she is capable, she can be _lethal_ , but she hasn’t prepared for this mission. She hasn’t planned and studied every facet of it like Maggie has. If one of Roulette’s henchmen get her...the very thought has Maggie feeling like her heart has been put into a vice.

“What?” The captain sounds confused again, before recognition dawns. “Is it that DEO friend of yours again? _Sawyer._ ”

Of course. Maggie had gotten more than a few askance glances from the officers at her station, for working with a DEO agent on her last Roulette stakeout.

“Get her out.” The captain orders, before she can reply. “Or keep her out of the way; I don’t care how. We cannot have the DEO interfering with the mission this late in the game.”

Alex is watching Maggie, with eyebrows raised in a somewhat sardonic expression, even as the captain says this in Maggie’s ear.

“Got it.” Maggie says briefly.

She slides off the earpiece, switches it off, and turns her attention back to her unexpected companion, who’s watching her now with warring interest and suspicion.

“You can’t be here.” Are her first words to Alex.

Alex smiles then, sharp and jagged. “Why is this reminding me of the first time we met?”

“I’m serious, Alex.” Maggie insists. “You _cannot_ be here.”

Alex’s gaze turns concerned.

“Is something wrong?” She asks. “Maggie, if there’s anything I can help with-”

Maggie shakes her head distractedly, and moves out from the hallway just a little, to check that the servers are still moving around the designated areas, and that Roulette’s crew is still distracted by the show.

“What are you doing here?” she asks Alex in turn, returning to her after the visual confirmation.

Alex looks a little embarrassed to answer.

“Lucy said I needed to stop moping and go out for a few drinks, so she brought me here.” She says, the words almost mumbled out. “Except, she met this cute girl - an ADA or something, she said -  and they really hit it off, so I told her it was okay for her to leave, you know? I was going to call Kara to come hang out, but she’s on a date with James, and then I saw you by the bar, and-”

She shrugs and peters off, and Maggie wants to smile, even distracted as she is. Typical Alex, always putting others above herself.

The faint music pulsating from the club, now dying out as the first show of the night winds down to a close, brings her back to the mission at hand.

“Still, you need to get out of here.” Maggie insists, sobering up and guiding Alex down the hallway, to the back entrance. “And so do I, while we’re at it.”

“Why?” Alex fires back stubbornly, although she’s moving along with Maggie. “That was your squad you were talking to, wasn’t it? Are you planning something? Is it a stakeout?”

“I can’t tell you.” Maggie says. “But you cannot be here.”

Alex scoffs.

“It really is like the first time we met.” She says. She sounds little melancholic. “Not telling each other what we’re working...have we drifted that far apart?”

Maggie tries not to let the words get to her, but it’s hard, and even harder by the fact that Alex looks chastised, like she hadn’t meant for that last part to slip out.

“Are you drunk?” Maggie asks, a different kind of worry overtaking her now..

“No.” Alex says, making a face. “I just ...I wasn’t feeling up to alcohol tonight.”

She looks away as she says it, her expression a bit morose. Maggie finds herself concerned without even meaning to. Alex and she might not talk as much since the...since the _kiss_ ...but, if something had upset Alex...the thought of it makes Maggie upset in ways that she can’t even rationalize to herself.

“Is something wrong?” she asks, unable to help herself.

Alex looks back at her, and she looks both sad and amused.

“No.” Is all she says, however.

A sound behind them catches both their ears. As if by instinct, Alex pulls Maggie and herself into a broom closet a few steps ahead of them. They stand there, pressed up against each other, both trying to peek through the gaps in the closet panelling.

Identical sighs of irritation are released, when they spot and hear two drunk men stumbling and cursing their way towards the washroom. Maggie lets out a breath of relief as they exit the cupboard, and feels Alex shaking softly against her, with silent laughter, as they continue to move down the hallway again.

“I’ve missed this.” Alex says softly, when Maggie turns to her inquiringly. “I’ve missed working with you.”

Her eyes are soft and vulnerable in the night, as she looks at Maggie, drinking her in like she’s starving, as if they hadn’t seen each other at M’gann’s bar just law week.

Except they’re not the same anymore, these weekly get-togethers that they both make a point of never missing. The easy camaraderie isn’t as easy; they still talk more freely to each other than to anyone else, but there’s a conscious wall, as if both of them are trying to respect the other’s wish for distance. They still discuss cases, trade information back and forth, but they haven’t worked a mission together in weeks.

And it’s the right thing, Maggie knows, to give Alex space, to let her work things out on her own. To be her friend, when things get bad.

No one told her doing the right thing would hurt this damn much, though.

“You never had me fooled, you know?” Alex is murmuring against her, now. The words are whispered almost directly into Maggie’s ear, her mouth so close that Maggie fancies she can feel the heat of Alex’s lips against the shell of the ear. “That day when we first met? At the airport? Do you remember?”

Maggie blinks.

“Yes.” _How could I forget?_

“You tried to play dumb.” Alex continues. “But I saw through you, Maggie. A beat cop like you, trying to act territorial in front of me, so I’d underestimate you. Trying to get a rise out of me by pointing out flaws in DEO procedure, as if you weren’t already under my skin. I couldn’t stop thinking of you that day, you know? Every time I closed my eyes, I saw you, walking away from me.”

She’s murmuring this all against Maggie’s ear, mouth slipping down to bump accidentally against Maggie’s jaws and throat with the gait of their walk, even as they move along the side of the hallway, as if she can’t help herself, as if she has to get this out before whatever is lying in wait accosts them.

“You saw through me.” Maggie says lightly, though a deeper part of her glows at the words. Alex has always seen her, as she is and as she’s capable of being, even though almost everyone else in Maggie’s life has written her off.

She wonders if Alex’s knows how much that means to Maggie; if she knows to what lengths Maggie will go, to not lose that.

“I always do.” Alex says, and of course she’s answering Maggie’s quip, but, from the tone of her voice, Maggie thinks that she might have heard some of the deeper implications behind it.

That does it, really. It’s been building up inside her all night, with how keyed up her emotions have been without any release, with seeing Alex again, and having Alex pressed up against her like this, whispering reminiscences into her ear.

Maggie reaches up, tangles her finger in short strands of auburn hair, and tugs. Alex moves down almost immediately, drawn as if like a mouth to a flame.

Maggie parts Alex’s lips with her tongue, and for a moment, the heat flaring inside her abates, as she feels Alex melt against her, hears her sigh, hears her moan into Maggie’s mouth, as Maggie’s hands drift up her body. Maggie’s anxieties about the mission fade away, as if Alex’s mere proximity has dispelled them.

She has a few more seconds of utmost bliss, before common sense, and the need for air, has them parting.

 _Damn._ Maggie pulls back a moment, to get her own bearing, and Alex’s face tilts forward as if to seek her again.

“Maggie.” Alex murmurs, millimetres away from Maggie’s mouth, eyes still closed, and then she’s pulling back too, eyes flying opening and pinning Maggie with an almost accusing stare.

“What was that?” Alex’s tone is just on the side of demanding, just on the side of breathless, and _god,_ there’s a part of Maggie that wants to forget the mission, and Roulette, and just ... _wants._

She takes a breath, even and regular, and refocuses, seeking out Alex’s eyes with what she hopes is a facsimile of calm, at least.

“We need to get out of here.”

“What?” Alex’s voice is vague, before she shakes herself, and stares at Maggie with lucid eyes. “Seriously, what is going on?”

“Just trust me.” Maggie sighs, tugging at Alex’s hands, surprised when Alex gives way easier than she had expected.

The back exit could be a no go, if any guards are stationed inside, or if Alex’s ride isn’t within easy reach.

 _“Plan B it is.”_ Maggie mutters.

She guides Alex to a side hallway, down to the storage room that her team had scouted out earlier as a possible recon point if things went south, leads Alex inside, locks it behind her, and turns to see Alex staring at her, all dark eyes and flushed cheeks.

“What are you doing?”

“This isn’t just a stakeout.” Maggie says, “We’re doing a bust.”

The first thing to register on Alex’s face is disappointment, of all things.

“The guys out there?” Maggie continues, trying not to let herself guess what that expression could mean. “The wait staff? NCPD, all of them. And up in the VP lounge? That’s a full half of Sinclair’s posse, the men who ponied up the money for her shindigs.”

“Oh.” Is all Alex says. Realization is dawning now, however, and Maggie can see her eyes reaching for her cellphone.

“Don’t.” She says, reaching a hand out to stall Alex when a stubborn look enters her face.

“I can’t just sit on this information, Maggie.”

“NCPD has a whole team infiltrating this bar.” Maggie argues. “You can’t call your guys in and blow our cover. You’ll be putting every one of our officers in there in danger.”

Alex is breathing hard, and she looks heated, which is probably because of how high-handed Maggie had been with getting her in here. Maggie hesitates, at a loss of how to proceed.

“Just...trust me?” she asks, eventually. “We’re here to round them up. If everything goes well, my guys are going to have them in lockup by the end of the night. We might even reel in Sinclair herself, by the time we’re done.”

Alex nods, slowly, reluctantly, face still a little mutinous. There’s something different in her eyes, though, something that makes Maggie swallow. She can feel the heat in her gut return, can feel it shift lower, as Alex leans forward, as if gravity itself is pulling her towards Maggie.

“You kissed me.” Alex whispers, and her hands can’t seem to stop moving. She shoves them into her jeans pockets, takes them back out, fiddles with her shirt, and then finally wraps them around her chest, before staring back at Maggie.

Maggie licks her lips. She knows what she needs to say, but Alex looking at her like that is making the words stick in her throat.

“I had to get you out of there, Alex.” she finally replies. “One of Roulette’s goons could have recognized us. Or, _you_ were bound to recognize one of the NCPD guys, and demand to know what was happening.”

Alex face visibly falls at her words, and Maggie wants to bang her own head against a wall.

“Right.” Alex mumbles. “The mission. You just didn’t want me interfering with your team.”

“Alex, I didn’t-” Maggie starts, but Alex just hugs her arms tighter around herself and turns away, as if to study the walls.

“So we’re stuck here?” she asks, still avoiding Maggie’s gaze. “Until your team is done with the roundup?”

Maggie watches her hands run over the walls of the room, as if searching for an exit, as if she couldn’t open the door and walk out right now.

“It’s my fault.” she finds herself saying. “I should’ve let DEO know about the plan from the start. I just ...I thought you guys were busy, with Cadmus and everything.”

Alex turns and looks at her then.

“You said we made a good team.” She says, and her tone isn’t quite accusing, but Maggie winces anyways. “I could still have helped you with this, even on my own time.”

“You left.” Maggie returns, spiralling emotions making her voice rough. “You were the one that said you need some space.”

“I didn’t want to.” Alex is almost whispering now, so low is the register of her voice. “I wasn’t...I couldn’t keep waiting around, Maggie.”

“For what?” Maggie asks.

But Alex looks away from her, hands tracing up the tattered wallpaper again.

“I don’t know.” She admits eventually. “Maybe waiting for my feelings to fade away? Hoping that if I dated enough women, eventually I could find someone who sparks what you spark in me?”

Maggie’s breath catches, but Alex is still avoiding her eyes.

Because Maggie still gets invited to game nights sometimes, usually when James and Winn are both attending too, and Alex still has drinks with her at M’gann’s every Saturday. But, at the end of the night, Alex has usually gone home with other women. Different women. Women who probably kiss her goodbye at the doorstep of her apartment. Woman who are perhaps even invited to enter beyond. That thought makes Maggie’s heart ache again, the pain familiar and muted.

“You kissed me.” Alex says, her voice cleaving through that ache.

“I shouldn’t ha-” Maggie starts, but Alex is putting up a hand to stall her, still not making eye contact.

”You kissed me,” She continues, as Maggie falls silent. “And then you just...stopped.”

Maggie blinks.

“You wanted me to continue?”

Alex flushes faintly.

“Why not?” She asks, still to the wall. “Too afraid to back up your bluff, detective?”

Does Alex know, Maggie wonders? Does she know what this is doing to Maggie? To see her again, raw and unmasked like this, after months and months of nothing but polite, social interactions next to Kara and James and everyone? To have known - _twice_ now _-_ what it’s like to kiss Alex Danvers?

Alex’s eyes are meeting hers now, and then skittering away, and then seeking her out again. There’s uncertainty in them, but also a smoldering fire, and here is the truth Maggie has been trying to keep from her own conscious, ever since she’d first laid eyes on her; Alex is beautiful. With her tousled hair and ruffled shirt and her dark eyes that make Maggie feels like she’s drowning, and being consumed by fire all at once.

She closes the distance between them, fists her arms into the front of Alex’s shirt, gaining purchase to lift herself upward.

“Maggie?” Alex asks, her voice pitched a little higher than usual. She’s staring down at Maggie with wonder, and reverence, and an outright hunger that belies the question in her tone.

 _It’s for the mission,_ Maggie tells herself. _Captain’s orders._ The moment Alex hears the commotion outside, she’s going to go for her gun, and she’s going to want to jump into the fray. Maggie needs to keep her distracted. Maggie needs to keep _herself_ distracted.

That’s what she tells herself, as she kneads her body against Alex’s, putting gentle pressure against the area where Alex’s thighs meet.

The strangled sigh she receives in response makes Maggie feel like her nerve endings are on fire. She tries to speak, fails, swallows, and bring her lips up to seek Alex’s again. Alex clutches her face and draws her in, their lips meeting almost bruisingly, before settling into a tender rhythm. Her tongue presses against Maggie’s lips, heartbreakingly soft in comparison to her earlier roughness, and Maggie can feel herself letting go, opening up to meet Alex.

They break apart for air some moments later, and Alex arches back against the wall, panting, She has dressed for the occasion, in a shirt of the softest cotton. Maggie fists her arms into it, and reaches forward again, Alex’s furiously working throat at just the right height for her to fasten her mouth against. She places light kisses against the pulse point, nipping and licking with just enough pressure to elicit quick puffs of breath from Alex, as she buries her face into Maggie’s hair.

Something breaks inside Maggie then, as Alex’s quick breaths against her make her hair flutter, and her arms move against the sides of Maggie’s torso, softly stroking upwards and around, in a sure rhythm.

Maggie leans back deliberately, making eye contact with Alex, and closes back in, body almost flush against Alex’s chest this time. She kisses her throat again, and works more soft kisses down to her clavicle, as she strokes her breasts through her shirt, until Alex is sighing above her. The sighs turn to moans, as Maggie disregards the obstruction of her thin shirt entirely, wetting her lips and sucking on Alex’s nipples through the skin-soft fabric.

Maggie can feel her own eyes fluttering shut in contentment, as she leans against Alex, fingers stroking up Alex’s back while her mouth continues its assault. So much for controlling herself. Truth be told, she’s felt both her emotions and her body spin out of control from the moment she’d met Alex.

“Maggie.” She can hear Alex croaking, but the voice comes as if from far away. She can feel Alex hands stroking hesitantly up her own chest, questing fingers leaving trails of fire in their wake, that leave Maggie yearning for more.

“Mm?” she hums out, half-dazed.

“Maggie.” Alex’s voice is more insistent. “The club...people might still hear us.”

Maggie pulls back slowly, one hand still fisted up again Alex’s shirt.

“They might.”

Maggie doubts it. This room had been a repurposed storage vault; her team had scouted it as a possible backup recon spot, specifically for the thick walls and insulation.

“Still.” Alex breathes, although she doesn’t seem particularly convinced by her own words.

Maggie notes with a sort of savage satisfaction the wet imprints her lips have made on the shirt, can see Alex’s peaked nipples through them, can feel her breasts fall and rise in tandem with her ruined breathing.

“Don’t want me to continue, Danvers?” she asks, mustering every last scrap of self-control to keep her voice even, so as not to pressure Alex.

“I-” Alex swallows, and looks around, eyes scanning the room, and _of course_ , Maggie thinks, heart sinking, she should have known.

What was she thinking? Of course this is too fast for Alex, too reckless, and the fact that Maggie needs this so badly that she feels ready to wither away from want of it, isn’t going to change that.

Alex reaches out lightning-fast, though, when Maggie makes to move her hands away.

“Maggie, don’t.” she says, holding Maggie’s hands fast against her chest, and her eyes are wild when they stare into Maggie’s own, unfettered in a way that Maggie hasn’t seen them before and _jesus_ , Maggie can’t handle this for much longer, she feels ready to burn from the inside out.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes.” Alex whispers, and inclines her head back with a sigh, hands guiding Maggie’s own back to her breasts, Maggie’s body meeting hers with the momentum of the pull. “Yes, Maggie, _please_ , I’ve wanted this so much.”

Maggie doesn’t say anything, just presses her body even closer, and grinds her leg between Alex’s thighs in response, building up the pressure and speed. The resulting stifled groans from Alex has her almost unravelling, right then and there.

 _God._ She’s slept with other women before of course, and far more experienced ones at that. And yet, here, with Alex fully clothed, wide-eyed and flushed and panting against the wall as Maggie moves against her... _this_ is the first time Maggie has felt this alive, Alex’s focused attention setting her nerves on fire.

She steps back just a little, cups Alex’s center through the fabric of her pants, rubbing and applying pressure in tandem to her moans. Alex buckles her hips against her hand, scrabbling to stand, and Maggie wonders at how the very thought of Alex touching her like this in return makes her want to shudder. Maggie knows the feeling isn’t simply physical. She’s _tried,_ she’s tried so fucking _hard_ to give Alex space, has tried to give her time to work through her feelings on her own, to let her go home with other women, hoping she’d find her way back to Maggie in the end. But god knows Maggie has wanted Alex, _all_ of her, bad temper and insecurities and all, from the moment she’d looked up to see Alex striding towards her at the airport.

She stops her hand movements, and closes shuddering fingers around the zipper of Alex’s pants instead. Willing her mind to focus, she pauses one final time.

“Alex.” She has to struggle to get the words out, almost beyond coherence. The world seems almost hazy and narrow, as if her entire focal point has pinpointed to the woman in front of her, and nothing else. “Please, will you let me do this?”

She would laugh if her breathing wasn’t so ragged right now, because she can’t believe she’s begging for this, Maggie Sawyer doesn’t beg, but Alex’s frantic nod is the sweetest of consolations.

“Yes.” Alex repeats. “Yes yes yes yes _fuck..._ _Maggie_.” She hisses the final part out, as Maggie’s fingers slip into her, inside of her, and then she releases a deep sigh of contentment, going perfectly still against Maggie.

Maggie pauses for a moment too, inside Alex, letting her fingers still, and it feels like the entire universe rests with them. She leans her entire body against Alex, hearts beating in tandem, her lips moving softly against Alex’s neck, and she wants to sigh too, because she feels so at home like this.

Then Alex makes a small noise, stifled but wanting. Maggie smiles against Alex’s neck, and starts moving her fingers. She starts out slow and controlled, sliding in gentle circles, but the sounds Alex keeps making in response to her movements are _so fucking derailing_ any claims to smoothness Maggie might have exercised _._

She’s trying so hard to make this soft, gentle, to ease Alex into this. Alex keeps moving against her fingers, though, thrusting up and urging her on, and it is making it hard for Maggie to remember that initial plan.

“I’m trying to control myself, Alex.” Maggie grits out, when Alex grinds down on her fingers this, hard and wanting.

“Don’t.” Alex breathes out. “I - want - all - of - you - _Maggie.”_ She whimpers again, as Maggie twists her fingers inside her. Her hands are frantically grabbing at Maggie’s waist, scrabbling for purchase at the fabric of Maggie’s shirt, as she struggles to remain standing.

Maggie moves harder this time, a little rough, and Alex bucks her hips along with her, riding it out, her thighs clenched together so that Maggie’s fingers are trapped in her.

Maggie can feel her own mind half slipping away, giving in to sheer lust for the woman in front of her. Alex’s shaky fingers fight with her shirt, scrabbling against the buttons before slipping past and finding purchase on skin, and damn,Maggie thinks she might pass out from that contact alone.

She can’t hold out much longer, she knows. And she knows, also, that she wants Alex, desperately wants _all_ of her, even if she gets to have her only this once, here in the dark underbelly of some seedy club.

“Alex.” Maggie says. “ _Alex_.”

Alex’s eyes flutter open, dilated pupils fixating on Maggie.

Maggie draws her fingers out of Alex slowly, gently, watching Alex swallow and raise her face upwards, as if to hide the disappointment.

“It’s ok.” Maggie tells her. “I’m not stopping.”

Alex tilts her head down to meet her gaze again, chest still heaving. Maggie lays the briefest of reassuring kisses on her lips, before kneeling and tugging Alex's pants downwards.

“Oh.” Alex breathes from above her. “ _Oh.”_

She repeats the word a third time, her voice guttural, when Maggie’s tongue makes the first swipe against her labia. Maggie licks again, harder, sucking on Alex’s clit in between swipes. She can faintly hear Alex hiss in response, and can feel Alex’s trembling fingers tangle into her hair, applying gentle pressure on her head.

“I want to do that to you, Maggie.” Alex gasps out, breaking mid-sentence to utter a muffled scream, when Maggie adds a thumb to the mix. “I want to make you feel like this... _please_.. If you let me.”

 _Anything_ , Maggie thinks in silent response, as she moves her tongue against Alex, into her, feeling Alex grind her hips into her mouth in response. Right now, she would give Alex anything, for giving her the chance to do this. Alex tastes so sweet, and when Maggie nips lightly at the short curls of hair around her clit, she breathes out Maggie’s name in a growl, and Maggie thinks she might come from the sound alone.

 _Let go,_ she silently urges Alex, trying to convey it through the movements of her lips and hands. She can tell Alex is trying to hold herself in, like she doesn’t want to _inconvenience_ Maggie with the force of her climax.

“Alex.” Maggie whispers, raising her head briefly to meet Alex’s gaze.

She repeats her name again, softly, reassuringly, before returning her mouth to lick against Alex’s core again, tongue sliding inside and swiping upwards in an angle that she has already learned gets the most reaction out of Alex. Soon, Alex comes with a shudder against her.

Maggie steadies Alex as her knees buckle, slides her mouth against her again, even as she comes, trying to prolong the moment for Alex. She’s glad she’s kneeling herself, because Alex hasn’t even done anything to her and she already feels unsteady on her feet.

She presses one final kiss against Alex, and rises, to find her still panting, her hands trembling as they find Maggie’s, and link their fingers together.

“That was-” she pauses, and then blinks, as if trying to corral her thoughts.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Maggie tells her, softly kissing her cheek.

Alex looks like she’s about to move away, reluctantly, so Maggie presses their fingers together a little more firmly. She kisses Alex again, on the forehead this time, and against the corner of her lips, like feathers, gentle as she knows. She needs Alex to know that this was given freely, that this too, is what she deserves, and more.

“I want to do that to you.” Alex repeats her words from earlier in a mumble, as her breathing returns to its usual even gait.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

And Maggie definitely wants her to.

“Still scared?” Alex asks, but now there’s a hint of teasing wickedness to her tone, as if any lingering uncertainties or insecurities had been consumed by what they had shared just then.

“Not of you.” Maggie answers truthfully. “Never of you.”

Alex presses a gentle kiss against her neck at that, and Maggie draws a shuddering breath, feeling her already fragile self-control threatening to disintegrate.

Alex notices, and pulls back, looking concerned.

Maggie doesn’t have much in the way of patience or finesse left. She simple locks gazes with Alex, and unbuttons her shirt. The bra goes next, tossed unceremoniously to the side, as she reaches to guide Alex’s ready hand towards her breasts, a silent offering.

“Let me?” Alex asks, nevertheless, even as she palms Maggie’s breasts, stroking them, kneading them, _god_ , circling her thumb around already taut nipples. She sounds breathy, her tone pleading. “I’ve wanted to for so long, Maggie. You have no idea _._ ”

And Maggie lets her, even though she’s Maggie Sawyer and she doesn’t lose control in clubs like this, doesn’t make love to a woman who isn’t even her girlfriend up against a wall like this, a woman she might already be halfway in love with, despite the fact that they haven’t gone on a single date yet.

She’s fast learning that Alex is the exception to all the rules that make up Maggie Sawyer.

Alex looks a little uncertain now, though, blinking in the darkness. Maggie feels the haze of lust retreat, and remembers that all this must still be quite new to Alex.

“It’s ok if you need time.” she whispers, and Alex stills, looking at her. “I know you’re new to this Alex, I don’t want to-”

Alex places a thumb over Maggie’s mouth to cut off the explanation, fingers gently stroking her cheek.

“This is about you.” she says reassuringly. “This is about what makes _you_ happy.”

She drags her thumb across Maggie’s lips slowly, dragging out the friction, and Maggie can taste the wetness of her Alex’s own arousal on it, that must have transferred at some point from her own hands. It only stokes the fire burning up inside her further. She flicks her tongue out, lapping at the fingers caressing her lips, and sees Alex’s pupil’s dilate again, hears her breathing hitch.

“How do you do that?” Alex sounds hoarse. “How do you make me fall apart with just a gesture?”

She steps closer to Maggie as she she says that, one leg pushing up into the center of Maggie’s thighs, and then moving back down, again and again, the pressure building up and retreating with slow and torturous repetitiveness. Maggie can feel something inside her shift, and become loose, giving into the feel of Alex against her, even as the tension in her core intensifies with every press of Alex’s legs.

“Tell me what you want.” Alex is murmuring against her ear, her voice reverent. “I’ll do it.”

Maggie inhales a gasp, struggles to get words out as Alex shifts angles and moves just a little faster against her.

“You fingers-” she gets out. “-inside me - _Alex_.”

Alex doesn’t comply right away. Instead, her leg retreats, and she slides her hand in between Maggie’s thighs, stroking at the area through the fabric of her jeans. She rubs her fingers in slow circles, again and again just like like before, the friction just enough to have Maggie burning with need, but not enough to satisfy.

“Tease.” Maggie gets out through shuddering breaths, but Alex’s hands on her feels so good, her firm strokes so wonderful even through the thick fabric, that Maggie wants them seared into her memory.

She feels like she’s floating on clouds, tethered to the ground only by Alex’s other hand against her waist, and by her tongue sucking softly against Maggie’s neck. Alex’s lips move further down, continuing her stroking as she licks her way down Maggie’s breasts. She teases the skin around her nipples with her tongue until they are taut, then sucks on them gently, teeth softly scraping against the sensitive skin in a way that has Maggie stifling a moan.

And then finally, _finally,_ Alex reaches one finger over the waistband of Maggie’s jeans, and strokes against her warm center. She rocks and circles there for a while, before applying pressure against the folds. Maggie hasn’t even realized until then how ready she is for her, how wet she is for Alex, as the finger feels around for a moment, before sliding in softly, like a whisper.

“Is this okay?” Alex asks, biting her lips, her tone somewhat tentative, as the finger strokes and curls inside Maggie.

“It’s _everything_.” Maggie replies, closing her eyes, and swaying backwards. She can feel Alex catch her, her free hand steadying Maggie’s back, but right now Maggie wouldn’t care if she were free-falling, as long as Alex’s finger continues moving inside her like that, soft and sure, stroking her to a climax that she desperately tries to prolong.

“More, Alex.” She gasps out, clenching her thighs to keep the finger inside her, her Alex, her beautiful Alex who looks flushed and utterly ruined through the view of Maggie’s half-closed eyes, as she keeps kissing Maggie’s mouth in between strokes, swallowing every sigh and moan that she makes.

Maggie pants out the word again, and Alex obliges without further instruction, drawing out and sliding back in with a second finger, the increased pressure and unfamiliar tightness making Maggie draw in a hissing breath.

Alex groans as Maggie clenches against her fingers. She continues to work her fingers inside Maggie, now with increased intensity.

“I’ve dreamt about this.” She admits hoarsely, brushing another kiss against Maggie’s lips. “I didn’t even know i was built to want something like this, until I met you-” There’s a pause, as she drags her teeth against Maggie’s bottom lip, drawing it in and sucking on it in a way that has Maggie half-groaning against her mouth. - “And now...finally, Maggie. _Finally.”_

Maggie comes with a shudder at the last word, clutching at Alex’s body with weak arms. Alex steadies her, as she always has, wonderful Alex who always likes to act as a protector, even though Maggie hasn’t needed it, not since that fourteen year old girl had lost the meaning of the word, all those years ago in Nebraska.

Alex always makes her forget that, though.

Alex slides out halfway, but still keeps two fingers inside Maggie for a little longer, moving lazily inside in a calming rhythm now, the other hand still holding Maggie’s back securely. Maggie leans back against the wall like that, feeling peace wash over her, and satisfaction, and something that feels tantalizingly like happiness.

“Thank you.” she whispers, when some semblance of calm has returned to her voice.

Alex draws her fingers out, looking confused, and then concerned.

“I _wanted_ to make you feel good.” she says. “You don’t have to thank me.”

Maggie smiles and tries to shrug it off, but Alex steps forward and tilts her chin up.

“You deserve to feel good, Maggie.” she says earnestly.

 _And you deserve the world_ , Maggie thinks. A world that someone as broken and damaged as Maggie couldn’t give Alex, didn’t _deserve_ to give Alex.

Except Alex wants her. Alex looks at her like _she’s_ the perfect and wonderful one. And maybe that’s enough. Because Alex deserves anything she wants, and she wants _her_ , unbelievable as that sounds to Maggie.

“This is me, Maggie.” Alex is saying, softly now. “This is me, wanting _you_ , and that won’t change, no matter how many other women I try to go out with.”

“But what if we don’t work out?”

Maggie bites her lips in frustration as soon as she gets the word out, but they’re already out there. And there it is, her fear laid out transparently in a moment of weakness. That they try, and it ends up in a spectacular failure, just like Kate and Darla and Emily, and Maggie ends up losing the only person in years who has made her feel like she matters, like she’s not just some work-obsessed cop with a string of failed relationships behind her.

“Passionate, not obsessed.” Alex mumbles against her forehead, and Maggie realizes that she had said that last part out loud. “But, I am too, remember? And I haven’t had all that great a streak with relationships, either.”

“I don’t want to lose what we have, Alex.” Maggie says, getting the words out with some difficulty, even now struggling to lay her deepest insecurities bare, even though Alex has only ever treated them with gentleness.

“You should’ve considered that before you fucked me senseless in the middle of the bar.” Alex says bluntly, but her eyes are soft, and her fingers are tracing comforting lines on Maggie’s own hand, as it lays against her chest.

“I don’t - Alex - I want so much better for you.” Maggie says, guilt-struck. _I knew I couldn’t give you what you deserve._

Alex face threatens to fall, just for a moment, before it reverts to a fierce expression. The hurt lingers in her eyes, though, as she continues.

“But it was _good_ , Maggie. It _is_ good. You with me...it feels so good. Are you telling me I _shouldn’t_ feel good about that? That this should just be something we do once in awhile, behind closed doors when we want each other, and discarded when we’re satisfied?”

Maggie closes her eyes, Alex’s voice and the words bringing her desire back to the surface again, and images of what they had just done. Of Alex sighing into her mouth, whispering worshipful words against her neck.

“Don’t you understand, Alex?” she asks, her voice sounding stretched and reedy even to her. “Don’t you understand that I’ll never be satisfied, when it comes to you? I could go to bed next to you every night for the rest of my life, and wake up every morning beside you, and I still wouldn’t get enough of you?”

How had she been foolish enough to think she could have Alex for one night and be done with it? How had she fooled herself into thinking that she wouldn’t be as consumed as she is now, with the memory of Alex against her, on her, inside her?

Alex’s breath hitches as her gaze meets Maggie, making Maggie wonder absentmindedly if some of what she’s thinking is showing in her eyes.

“I’m not your exes, Maggie.” Alex says, taking a shaky breath. “I’ve stuck around. I see you, and you see me. We understand each other, and I think that’s worth giving us a shot.”

“Us.” Maggie echoes, the words sitting unfamiliarly in her mouth, but not entirely unwelcome. Far from unwelcome, if she is being honest.

Alex nods determinedly, and god, how is the woman in front of her so brave, charging into every struggle facing her without hesitation?

Maggie doesn’t deserve her, she knows. Except sometimes Alex looks at her like she is now, like her whole world rests in Maggie’s eyes, and Maggie lets herself believe, for a moment, that she does.

“So, where do we go from here?”

“You’re taking me to dinner.” Alex states.

“I didn’t know the DEO paid you that badly that you have to hustle a local cop.” Maggie teases, but Alex flushes only faintly, her eyes still boring into Maggie’s in a way that makes Maggie’s throat go dry again.

“Well?”

It’s wrong, Maggie knows. She’s done everything wrong. She fell in love with Alex before Alex even knew she was gay, and she went and fucked Alex before she even dated her.

But her feelings for Alex, though? They feel right. They always have, even when Maggie tried to ignore them, for the sake of giving Alex the chance to find something better.

And now the challenge in Alex’s eyes is fading, replaced by something that looks like disappointment and resignation, and perhaps that’s why Maggie hurries forward, cupping Alex’s face in her hands, the most precious thing they’ve ever held.

“Alex,” she says without further ado. “I want to take you out. I _do._ ”

“Yeah?” Alex’s voice sounds thin and half-disbelieving, and she’s picking at stray threads on her shirt.

Maggie nods, unable to stop the smile that stretches across her face. She grabs hold of Alex’s fumbling hands. She kisses the tips of each finger briefly, reverently, before linking them with her own, marvelling at how perfectly they rest against each other.

“I want to take you out every day for the rest of my life, Alex Danvers, if you’ll let me.”

“I will.” Alex mumbles, brushing a soft kiss against their linked fingers, following it up with a stronger, “I do. Want you to.”

“Good.” Maggie breathes out, unable to stop the smile that threatens to split her face.

“When?” Alex asks now, sounding half-demanding and half-eager, like a kid, and Maggie has to laugh, with wonder that she can evoke this side of the usually grave-faced woman.

“Let’s start with that dinner.” She says, and Alex is the one who smiles now, wide and delighted.

“Tonight.” She states to Maggie, all confidence. “Something must still be open. Pick me up after you’re done debriefing to your captain.”

“You got it, Danvers.” Maggie says with a shake of her head that is half-fond and half-exasperated.

In her mind though, she thinks back to her earlier words to Alex, and corrects herself.

_Let’s start with forever._

\---

**Author's Note:**

> This all started when I wrote a pretty self-indulgent PWP snippet about 5-6 months ago, and then left it wallowing in my drive. This month, while writers-blocked on my actual WIP, I finally decided to take the snippet out and finish it up, and it somehow ...grew, along the way. Which I’m sure is what she said too ;)
> 
> Author can be found - as usual - at alittlelesspain.tumblr.com, although she might disavow all knowledge of this fic if asked :P


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